The Darkness Of My Heart
by VanitasVani
Summary: Kagome finds Inuyasha at the Sacred Tree and is tortured with immense pain, feeling heart broken from what she sees. Inuyasha cares deeply for both Kikyo and Kagome and he faces a decision where he has to pick which one he wants to be with. Whichever girl he picks, there is sure to be horrible consequences, and a damaged fate. The darkness of one of the girls heart is summoned.
1. Chapter 1

**The darkness of my heart  
****Disclaimer****: I****do not own Inuyasha… Sadly Ramiko Takahasi owns him…. They are all his characters.. so enjoy!**

**I truly hope you guys like this fanfiction, it's my first Inuyasha one and I sincerely think I did good so REVIEW.**

It's been a while since Inuyasha ran off into the woods; I wonder what he could be looking for. With Sango wounded from one of Naraku's tricks, we can't afford to have another one of our group injured.  
"I'm going to go check on Inuyasha." I say.  
Sango's eyes flutter open at the sound of my voice, and she goes to speak but only a tight, retched noise comes out. She coughs a couple times before she is able to speak.

"Sure Kagome, but be careful. Take Kirara with you?" She croaks.

I tuck a loose strand of raven black hair behind my ear while giving her a small, half smile.

"I am sure I will be fine, plus Kirara looks pretty happy and cozy all snuggled up to you like that."

With that, I quietly leave the hut, careful not to wake Miroku and Shippo; who are sleeping silently beside Sango. The full moon shines on the dew that sprinkles the grass and the breeze gently caress's my skin like a soft, soothing hand, relieving me of all the pain I have suffered the last few day.

We had a hard battle with Naraku a few days ago, Inuyasha instantly tracked a scent and threw me on his back before following Hakodoshi's scent to the bottom of a mountain, where Naraku awaited us silently. We were following Hakodoshi's scent, which smells exactly like Naraku, but it was all just a set up. When we finally reached the mountain, Naraku flew out of a hole in the cave, surrounded by his strong barrier. He planned to finish off Inuyasha once and for all but Koga came racing down the mountain on the first scent of me and I begged for him to help. He cursed a lot at Inuyasha but he was a great help and Sango couldn't help but show her gratitude by putting her life in danger by rushing in front of Koga when Naraku shot a tentacle towards him. Koga was totally caught off guard, to busy fighting with Inuyasha none the less, and didn't expect Naraku to interfere. Sango tried to throw Hiraikotsu at Naraku but she wasn't fast enough and the tentacle impaled her through her stomach, leaving a huge, gaping hole. Miroku was pissed that Naraku hurt his dear Sango, so he summoned every ounce of strength to fight of Naraku but of course, it wasn't enough. Koga and Inuyasha worked together to avenge Sango's injury and left Naraku fleeing. I shot one of my sacred arrows at him and it skimmed the side of his stomach, causing him to wince in pain but otherwise did no harm. Naraku was barely wounded but he decided to flee, I have no clue why but it really gets to me.  
Sango was unconscious on the ground, surrounded by her own blood. Crimson liquid was splattered all over her body and her face was very pale, especially compared to her usual white complexion. Miroku, who was hugging Sango's body tightly, was also drenched in blood. I had only a few cuts, scratches and bruises but nothing compared to the pain Sango and Miroku must've felt.

I flinch, shaking off the memory. We are all fine now, except Inuyasha has been a little restless lately, maybe because he failed to realize that fighting with Koga was stupid and that it got Sango seriously injured. Maybe he thinks it's his fault, I should go reassure him that Sango did it on her own accord to save a friend, to save another soul that didn't deserve to go to the other world yet.

He might be by the Sacred Tree; it's the best lead I have so far, so I decide to check there first.  
Bright lights illuminate the sky up above, like stars but so bright and close up. Oh… no… Kikyo's soul collectors! I'll be damned, how did I not think of this sooner?  
Of course Inuyasha would probably think that it was his fault because of Sango but he wouldn't leave the hut! I am so stupid, but I have to know what's going on, I may not like it but I don't want Inuyasha to get hurt.  
She is probably leading him on as we speak; it really annoys me that I truly love Inuyasha when Kikyo used to love him.  
Now she is just a dead soul, made up of bones and graveyard soil. I think Inuyasha cares about us both deeply, but even with Kikyo around, it's hard to think straight for both of us. I know he still loves her, and I know there might not be a spot for me in his heart but that doesn't stop me from trying. I wouldn't be able to get over him, even if I tried!

I finally see Inuyasha and Kikyo in the clearing, facing each other. Kikyo's back is to the sacred tree, she has a mischievous glint in her eye, like she knows I am there. I hastily hide behind the safety of a tree, obscuring me from the view of Kikyo's wandering eyes. Inuyasha has a look of kindness in his eyes, something he barely shows me.

"Kikyo, I-I can't let you get hurt by Naraku again." He stutters, "Why do you always pursue him?"

Kikyo lets out a startling gasp, her eyes glazing over with anger.

"He tore us apart Inuyasha, he ended my life. Just because I am a female, doesn't mean I can't defend myself. I can handle myself just fine Inuyasha, your help is not needed." She retorts cautiously.  
Inuyasha takes a step back and looks as if Kikyo grew claws and ripped out his heart.

"Kikyo, I didn't mean to offend you. I don't want you to endure anymore sorrow; I want to protect you forever."

I let out a gasp of remorse. It feels as if my heart just broke in two; I want Inuyasha to protect me forever. What am I saying? I am acting selfish, why can't I just accept that I will never get the guy? I feel tears start to well in my bright blue eyes but I know I have to suck it up, I will not act weak.

"I feel gratitude towards your words Inuyasha, but I am just a mere soul, made up of fake flesh and reborn even though I do not deserve it."

"Kikyo, don't say that. I don't care for your appearance or what you're made up of, the only thing that matters are you, the real you, your soul. Your soul still holds love for me, I can feel it."

Kikyo looks up at Inuyasha, a sad expression danced across her face. Inuyasha grabs Kikyo's hand and she instinctively wraps her fingers around his.

"Inuyasha, what about that foolish girl?"

Inuyasha stops for a second and ponders on the thought of Kagome.  
Inuyasha does feel strongly for Kagome, just as he does for Kikyo. If it came down to it, he wouldn't know which one to choose. He could have Kagome, the happy, cheerful girl that made him trust again or Kikyo, the sad, lonely soul that lives on this planet for one reason, to destroy Naraku. The two girls are different in heart and soul but they share the same desire, to be with Inuyasha. The Hanyou rarely leaves both of the girl's minds, just as they never leave his.

I am still peeking around the corner when a thoughtful look crosses Inuyasha face.  
_Is he actually thinking about what Kikyo said? So he does care about me, but maybe not as much as he cares for Kikyo._

"I see you are giving a lot of thought into my question, aren't you?" Kikyo asks, while seething with rage.

"Kikyo, I do care for the girl, and I care for you. Can't I have you both?" He blurts out by mistake.

I cover my mouth as a long sigh escapes me and wistfully close my eyes. Inuyasha will never learn will he?  
I hear a thick slapping noise fill the air.  
I re-open my eyes and see a newly swelling hand mark on the side of Inuyasha's face. Stupid Hanyou, will you ever learn to respect girls?  
We aren't your property, you know?  
"HEY! What was that for?" Inuyasha squeals.  
"Learn to respect girls, we aren't your toys. You can have me or Kagome, it's your choice Inuyasha, and I would like to know the answer."

Inuyasha stifles a moan and shakes his head.

"I-I cannot give you an answer now, Kikyo," he murmurs "Please forgive me."

"Does that girl mean more to you then I do?"  
Inuyasha grabs Kikyo by the waste and pulls her tightly to him, there body's molding together as if they were the same person. She wraps her arms around his neck and breaths in his scent.  
"We have been through hard times Kikyo, but we have had our good times. Kagome has been with me for almost a year now; she has helped me learn the way of trust. She has done me a great deal of help and pushes away her on selfishness and sacrificed her life for me before. You did the exact same, as you can see, it is hard to pick between you both."

My knees buckle and I fall to the ground, tears threaten to fall. Why can't Inuyasha hug me like that? I don't know why he even try's to work with me; I am nothing but a foolish mortal girl, always getting in his way and doing nothing to help him. My archery isn't that good either and all I do is stop Inuyasha from using his powers to their full potential because he always has to save me from danger._ But what can Kikyo do? She is never here for Inuyasha like I am; I guess it was there past relationship that really has his heart wanting her…._

**AH, first chapter! Please, please, please REVIEW! I will honestly love you forever… I know it may not be good:$, I am pretty young so I am not a good writer but I did my best and I just LOVE Inuyasha! I thought this was a good story idea!**


	2. The bitterness that grasped her heart

**The darkness of my heart**

**Chapter two:The bitterness that grasped her heart: ENJOY**

**Don't worry, it gets way better. More blood and gore in a couple chapters. I just have to create this plot first so it matches the amazing future plot I have to come!**

_But what can Kikyo do? She is never here for Inuyasha like I am; I guess it was there past relationship that really has his heart wanting her…  
_  
Kikyo and Inuyasha are still hopelessly entangled in a hug, there arms wrapped around each other as if they never want to let go. This feeling is slithering across my heart, a dark feeling, something that I don't want to feel but I can't help it. It is twining me in its own tight hug, wrapping itself around my heart and sending waves of hatred throughout my body. Bitterness is over-powering me, I don't know if I can do anything to stop it. It is a horrible feeling, something that every human accustoms, that I only feel when Inuyasha and Kikyo are together. This night is a lonely one; the air is very cold, sending shivers down my spine and the moon is full, sending dancing shadows across the grass with every gust of wind. Kikyo's soul collectors twirl around the tree in graceful curls and spins, lighting up Inuyasha and Kikyo every time they pass overhead of them. One thought is pulsing through my mind, something I don't want to think, but something I know is true, very true; _I hate him, I hate her._

I stand up, ignoring the sensual pain in my heart, and gradually make my way out of the forest, so my eyes don't have to see them together. Tears stream down my face, soaking my pale skin, and sticking my thick eyelashes together in black triangles. _Why did I have to come here, why did I have to meet him, why did I have to love him? He is so ignorant, rude, and has such a short temper and attention span. So why do I love him? I guess it's the feeling of safety when I am in his warm arms, the electricity when skin touches skin._

I stumble into Kaede's hut, just in time to see Sango's head placed dexterously on Miroku's should, his arm around her fragile body.  
"Kagome," Miroku exclaims "Where have you been?"  
"I-I just went out to check on Inuyasha; he is okay, I shouldn't of worried so much." I say wearily. _Maybe if I didn't worry so much, my heart wouldn't feel ripped out and stomped on._

"Then why ever are you crying, did something happen?" Miroku asks with an expression of worry across his face.  
"It isn't something to worry about, it's just Inuyasha being himself."  
"I have never seen you so upset Kagome, but if you wish not to explain yourself then I will stop bugging you."  
I turn my back on Miroku and gently lie down, settling myself on the uncomfortable wood floor. Sango starts whispering to Miroku, talking softly enough so I shouldn't hear but I catch words of what she is saying.  
"Inuyasha...probably... Kikyo...really upset... I would… Same way."  
I sleepily close my eyes, blocking out the outside world and slowly relax myself, hindering my mind of any thoughts.

I open my eyes to see sunlight fluttering in through the door of the hut, showering the room in glorious light. Inuyasha is sitting dormant against the wall beside me, his arm outstretched. I just want to curl up against him and lean my head on his shoulder and use his arm as a rest but I know that will not happen, not after last night. He looks so peaceful when he is asleep; his scowl has been turned into a calm smile, his rough facial features turned soft. He is probably dreaming about Kikyo, no doubt.  
I continue to stare at him, longer than expected, and his eyes spring open. His warm honey golden irises open wide, causing me to drown in those pools of gold, while he gives me a half-hearted smile. I shake my head and frown at him; I get up and walk away, out of the hut. I slump down beside the river. At least the river gets a sense of freedom; flowing freely wherever it pleases, brushing against ever rock, leaving no pebble unturned. It never has to deal with pain like I do, never has to go through boy troubles or watch the person it loves being stolen away by a dead girl who should have stayed in the ground as a pile of bones. She does not belong here with Inuyasha, she died 50 years ago at the hands of Naraku, but what am I saying? I don't have a place here either; I am from the future, 500 years ahead of now. Maybe I should just go home and never return, vowing to never lay a thought on Inuyasha but I can't do it. I am the only one able to see the jewel shards; other than Kikyo but she would help no one, and I wouldn't be able to leave my friends, let alone the guy I love. I sigh and lower my feet into the water, breaking the clear surface, and sending vibrant chills through my legs.

I don't know how long I sit there, my feet in the water, smelling the saccharine aroma of flowers before a sudden movement drops down beside me.  
"Hey Kagome." He beams.  
I glare at him, making him wince in return and wiggle an eyebrow at me.  
"Kagome, what's wrong now?"  
"Don't play innocent Inuyasha, you know perfectly what's wrong."  
"What do you mean? Are you mad at me for fighting with Koga and failing to defend Sango?"

"No, it was Sango's choice to protect Koga and she did it bravely. Just as it was your choice to visit Kikyo last night, but you did it pathetically." I intently turn away from his intense stare, bitterness crossing my heart once again.  
"Kagome, you were there? Why did you follow me?" He demanded.  
"You were gone for a while Inuyasha, you had me so worried so I went to go check on you until I saw Kikyo's soul collectors and I had to know what was going on. So why did you do it Inuyasha? Why did you leave and hurt me just to feel Kikyo's embrace?"

INUYASHA'S P.O.V

I mentally smack myself in the face, how could I be so idiotic, hurting Kagome just to see Kikyo.  
I grip Kagome's shoulders, turning her so her beautiful brown gaze met mine.

"I needed to see her one more time; I wanted to know she was okay."

"Then why didn't you tell her you wanted to be with me instead of saying you couldn't give her the answer now?" Tears start to well in Kagome's eyes, sending pain through Inuyasha's heart.

"I don't kn-"  
"You don't know! You never know Inuyasha, why can't you just choose one of us? She is dead for Christ sake, how could you love a pack of bones!" She screams before getting up and running away towards the hut.  
Fuck me, I am so stupid! I shall see Kikyo tonight and tell her that I can't see her anymore. But I can't do that, I promised Kikyo that I would protect her forever. I never want her to endure anymore sorrow; I have to protect her until the day I die. _But what about Kagome?_

I lie down on the grass so the sun hits my face, relishing in its toasty warm rays. I close my eyes and let darkness engulf me, just as I sense the weariness leaves my tired body.

_"Inuyasha." Kikyo's voice fills my mind, I let down my guard and rush to the sound of her voice.  
"Kikyo." I say just as she comes into my line of vision. She is sitting on the edge of a cliff, her long black hair blowing in the swift breeze.  
"Inuyasha, you can live with me, we can be together. There is only one way to do so, this time we must succeed in destroying Naraku and taking the Shekon Jewel into our possession. Without Naraku, he cannot stop our love from blossoming even more, so we can actually grant our wish on the Shekon Jewel and you will become a full human and I can be your mate."_

"I don't know if I want this Kikyo, I'm sorry."  
Her eyes start to waver, something changing deep within them.

"You have wanted this before, why not now? That wench cannot stand in our way this time Inuyasha, you want to be with me not her!"

"How exactly do you know what I am feeling Kikyo! I used to think about you constantly, all my mind ever did was wonder about you. That was until I met Kagome, she helped me learn to trust again and she accepted me for who I was."  
Kikyo looks taken back by Inuyasha's words, hurt churning in her eyes.

"I love you Inuyasha and you love me."

How do I get out of here? I keep trying to leave but something is pulling me back, like tentacles are wrapped around my arms.

"How are we even talking in a damn dream?"

"Do you doubt my spiritual powers Inuyasha? If you do not want to talk here, meet me tonight at the Sacred Tree and we will discuss this."

And with that, she ended the dream, causing Inuyasha to wake up drenched in sweat.

"You spoke her name Inuyasha, another dream about her? I guess that isn't enough because she is always on your mind anyway, I should have known there was no room for me before I hopelessly fell head over heels for you."


End file.
